Of all the marriage problems he encounters in his counseling ministry, Dr. Dunlap explains, in this concluding article of a two-part series on money management, that financial disagreements cause more marriage breakups than nearly any other reason. He urges couples to diligently and thoroughly address several specific aspects of family finances as part of the premarital counseling process.

The subject of finances is one of the most important topics that men and women should discuss with their future mate, before they get married. I urge couples to address several specific aspects of family finances, as part of the premarital counseling process. The following is the list we use:

1.      Will you buy a home, or rent?

2.      Are you committed to the principle of tithing?

3.      How much money will you budget for food, clothes, furniture, and automobiles?

4.      How often will you eat out?

5.      Is it important to you to make a will?

6.      Will you use credit cards to make purchases?

7.      Who will be responsible for family bookkeeping?

8.      How much money will you allocate to buy gifts for one another?

9.      Do you believe it is necessary to have a savings account?

10.   How do you feel about working overtime, or about either of you taking a second job?

11.   Do you plan to set aside funds for emergency situations?

12.   How will each of you respond if your spouse makes a major purchase without your prior knowledge?

13.   Do you believe a husband and wife should maintain separate bank accounts?

14.   Should you designate money to care for elderly parents or grandparents?

15.   Are you interested in investing your money?

In Luke 14, Jesus is urging His followers to count the cost of discipleship. He tells His listeners, in verse 27,

Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.

In verses 28-30, Jesus uses an illustration from the realm of finance, to clarify His point:

Which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost, to see if he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation, and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to ridicule him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’

Here, Jesus’ words emphasize the importance of financial planning.

During the premarital counseling sessions, I ask my counselees to work together on this proposed budget worksheet.

Estimated Income Yearly Monthly

Take-home pay _________ _________

Other Income (dividends, interest, etc.) _________ _________

TOTAL _________ _________

Estimated Expenses (Check last year’s records and anticipate any increases.)

Fixed Expenses

Contributions _________ _________

Housing (rent, mortgage, phone, heat, electricity, water, sewer, garbage) _________ _________

Insurance (property, life, health, auto, etc.) _________ _________

Taxes (property, school, other) _________ _________

Debts or loans other than mortgage _________ _________

Savings or investments _________ _________

TOTAL _________ _________

Flexible Expenses

Family expenses

(medical & dental care, clothing, vacation & travel, education, recreation, Christmas & other gifts, children’s allowances, haircuts, etc.) _________ ________

Expenses of wife (groceries, household operation, personal, cleaning & laundry, newspaper, other) _________ ________

Expenses of husband (operation & maintenance of auto, personal, professional or union dues, books & journals _________ ________

Home maintenance (house & furnishings) _________ ________

Emergencies _________ ________

Miscellaneous ________ ________

TOTAL _________ ________

Minus TOTAL EXPENSES _________ ________

Plus OR Minus _________ ________

*If expenses exceed your income, you must either decrease your expenses, or increase your income. Write out what you will do and how you will do it.

Keep in mind, the wise instruction of Proverbs 16:8, “Better is a little with righteousness, than great income with injustice.” Throughout Scripture, God instructs us to properly steward the money that He entrusts to us.

Dr. Don Dunlap, a pioneer in the placement of Pastoral Counselors in the offices of Christian physicians, has conducted over twenty thousand appointments during his ministerial career. His counseling practice includes adults, children and families in crisis. Dr. Dunlap is committed to facilitating a network of telephone counselors. His goal is to provide help for the many people unable to meet face to face with a competent Bible-based counselor. For a complete library of Dr. Dunlap’s articles, indexed by topic, go to Family Counseling Ministries. You may also make an appointment for personal telephone counseling by clicking on Family Counseling Ministries. Family Counseling Ministries is a Christianity.com ministry Partner.

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